A man in dandism (naturalbornkaos) wrote in bloodcapsules,
A man in dandism

Black Christmas (2006)

"Black Christmas" (2006)
Dir: Glen Morgan

Dumb cash-in remake of Bob Clark's influential slasher movie has a perplexingly-sized sorority house being terrorised by a psychopath with a penchant for ripping out eyeballs and a love of yuletide aesthetics. Sadly, it has little else. Certainly nothing resembling a tight script or an attention to detail. Grr. You know, it's certainly possible to make a good, fun slasher in 2006 (the similarly themed "See No Evil" springs to mind), as all you really need is to 1) have loads of gore and 2) adhere to your story's internal logic. "Black Christmas" is fine on the first front (lots of festive deaths (icicles through heads, death by Christmas cookie-cutter, eyeball-baubles on the tree, etc)), and quite stylishly done at times, but it fails completely on the second. The script is clumsy, muddled, full of back-story that never goes anywhere, needless characters that don't make sense and an unfocused narrative that's both confusing and idiotic. The supposed 'twist' is obvious from about ten minutes in and wank attempts at throwing out red herrings just serve as irritating distractions. Even the tone of the movie fails to stay consistent, veering from high camp to grim unpleasantry in the blink of an eye. Don't even get me started on the dialogue, that's non-naturalistic enough to be almost total dada at times. A complete mess all round to be honest and, as a result, no fun. File this one away in a manger and lock the stable doors. *
Tags: christmas, one star, slasher
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